In a world that often feels overwhelming and disconnected, feeling that you don’t matter is one of the most profound struggles we face as humans. We seek validation, love, and a sense of belonging. The same can be said for our dogs. When it comes to training, that safety and belonging builds the foundation upon which everything is else built. If your dog training is not working, more trust, more understanding, and more connection, could be the answer.

The Human Experience

Feeling unimportant can lead to feelings of sadness, isolation, and frustration. We’re living in an era where more voices are being heard, thanks to social movements and the courage of many who have stepped forward to assert their existence. Yet, the truth remains: individuals everywhere crave acknowledgment, understanding, and recognition. No one wishes to feel invisible, caught up in the everyday hustle. When we realize that our emotions are valid, we begin to appreciate the depth of feeling that life has to offer.

Think about how often the WHY of what we do matters. We think if we can understand why someone does something, we can change outcomes in the future. When we ourselves do something wrong, how badly we want to explain our rationale, our point-of-view. Why? Because we hope it matters.

Why Dog Training Is Not Working

Dogs are not mere companions; they are sentient beings with thoughts and feelings of their own. The way they perceive the world is vastly different from ours. Where we interpret a raised voice as excitement or assertiveness, they might perceive it as a threat. The emotions we experience translate differently for dogs, which can lead to misunderstandings and unhappiness if we don’t take their perspective into account.

Envision this common scenario. The Amazon van pulls up in front of your house and your dog goes nuts!! The barking, oh the barking! You yell to the dog, “Hey – quiet Max!!” Does Max stop barking? Probably not. Here’s where the perspective is key.

Your POV: Max, it is just the Amazon person and they brings us stuff all the time. Sometimes they bring good stuff for you too! It’s not a threat or visitor, it’s just a delivery person. Could you stop being so loud about nothing? Enough already!

Max’s POV: Hey my beloved pet parent there is a STRANGER COMING! This is so exciting (or scary) and I need to tell you. You should come and see too. I hear you yelling something, I’m thinking that means that you and I are on the same page. You sound like you are doing human barking. I can tell you that if we keep barking, they will eventually leave. I’m so glad you’ve got my back.

You can see that the same situation can be interpreted in two very different ways meaning the outcome you are working towards is less likely to happen. Instead, of shouting “quiet!” and giving him backup, take a look at it from the dog’s perspective. Shouting along with him is encouraging him, but distracting him and rewarding his quiet response tells him that once he tells you the “news” you may rewarding him by turning away, focusing on you, and being quiet.

The Impact of the “Human Centric” Perspective

When our interactions are consistently human-centric, we run the risk of neglecting what our dogs truly need to feel secure and loved. For instance, while we may see a game of fetch as playtime, dogs may see it as their opportunity to bond with us and feel significant in our lives. Ignoring their need for connection can lead to issues such as anxiety, destructive behavior, and even aggression.

Further, when we trying to teach a new behavior or address and issue, understanding the dog’s perspective can tell you WHY something is happening. Some dogs refuse to sit because the texture they are planting their but on doesn’t feel great. So it isn’t that they are being stubborn, or that you just are teaching it right. Move them to a new location and just like that, they are happy to sit. Try to remember that when you are struggling with something and seeking help, if someone doesn’t take the time to understand the what and the why, you likely will get quickly frustrated. Same for your pup.

Building a Better Bond

To ensure our dogs feel like cherished members of the family, we must actively work to understand their needs. Here are a few actions we can take:

1. Observe: Pay attention to your dog’s body language and reactions. If they seem anxious or confused, reassess the environment and see how making an adjustment might help.
2. Engage: Spend quality time with your dog. Whether it’s playtime, a leisurely walk, or simply sitting together, engaging with them helps reinforce their importance in your life.
3. Train with Kindness: Positive reinforcement training not only helps shape your dog’s behavior but also strengthens your bond. When your dog feels respected and understood they are more likely to respond positively.
4. Speak Their Language: Learn about canine communication. Understanding what your dog is trying to tell you can help bridge the gap between your perspectives.

By prioritizing our dogs’ feelings and perceptions, we create an environment where everyone feels valued and significant. Dogs, in turn, will return our efforts with loyalty, love, and companionship that can enrich our lives in immeasurable ways. It is frustrating when our dog training does not work and we feel locked in a battle with Fido.

Conclusion

In a society where both humans and dogs yearn to feel like they matter, it’s essential to cultivate understanding and empathy. Acknowledging the emotions and perspective of those around us—human or canine—can create a ripple effect of positive change. When we strive to ensure that everyone feels recognized, loved, and valued, we enrich our lives and build a world where all beings can thrive. In the end, the most fulfilling journey is one taken together, with hearts open and minds engaged.